Weight 207.2
For some odd reason....even through all the injuries, surgery, and frustrations of training...I feel GOOD! Have a lot going on in my life, money issues, work, the day to day thing trying to be a good father, among other things, and my mind is muddled...But, the focus upon what I want to accomplish has not left me. God is good...ALL the time... Only He, could bring me through all this in any way to have me even able to think of being successful...
I am working to get through closing the holes I have in my game, and though I have come a very long way in an extraordinarily short time relative to the art, I have a really good feeling about where I stand and my chances at Mundials...In fact, in my dreams I see the matches....Clear as day, I can see counters, see my attack chains...I even see my difficulties, but the difference in these dreams is I see my way through them...Interspersed through these visions is the vision of me with the medal being placed over my head...There are many people I wish to quiet, including my own internal demons, there are many things I wish to achieve here, and it really FEELS like I will...
Workouts have been going well...I worked out with Coach Allen for about an hour today, and he corrected many things for me which I will attempt to implement during tomorrow's workout...My top game and passing game is moving where I need it to be though there is one technical thing I must get right....But the grinding, pressure, punishing game is where I am trying to go as my top choke game is varied to the point I feel about as comfortable there as I do from the guard...There are a few little issues nagging me as I know how and what to do, but I just don't DO them when necessary...As I've been successful with them before I haven't been forced to correct them as I should, and have neglected to do so, but with the step up in the level of competition both because I have moved up to Faixa Marrom and because the Mundials is the premiere competition in the world, I need to close this up, and will bust my ass over this next week to make sure this is done...All that said, once again, because of the exemplary work of the doctors I see, and trying to eat better, as well as getting the right rest,the only little issues I have are from lack of medications which I hope to correct this week too...
I have until Monday to put in my work and tune up to get sharp...Tomorrow and Thursday will be very hard days...Hopefully one of our really good Brown Belts will come through for me to work with, and maybe I get to work with Marcus and Coach Allen as well before end of the week...Then I can get my most specific situational work done...Sort of a final exam on what I wish to do...Biggest thing is, I have to keep the dreams...Even though they keep me tossing and turning, and restless in my sleep, I feel they mean something and are good..They keep me motivated among other things...I truly hope that I can live up to my belt, and the trust put into me...
Finally my focus time is here...Everything is going towards finishing...Being an aggressive, and forceful finisher from wherever..I do not wish to win...I wish to succeed!...I wish to stand apart in the win...EVERYTHING which is not directed towards me performing at top capacity is OUT...No bullshit, drama, worry, etc...If not life or death, then there is no time for it....I am going to Go Gettem!....I fight on...
Thought For Today: Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely - lay your life before him.
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