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Monday, September 29, 2008

Right On Time...






Weight: 198.2

I knew I should not have stayed for practice when I walked in. I could feel that feeling I've been describing back rearing it's head again. There was no joy in being on the mat. BJJ has been the only thing I've pursued that actually gave me joy in as long as I can remember. It sucked. I came in because I figured, it would wipe away all the stress and bullshit I'd gone through in the day and days previous as usual, but was wrong. I milled around and didn't even get on in to practice until after warm ups. Anyways, we went over a couple of guard passes. One of which was the S-Pass. I like that one but I need more work to make it automatic. Not being able to clear my mind I was just making tiny mistakes. Frustrating to be able to answer some of the other students' questions but not be able to get it right myself. Well not to my standards at least...We also worked an inside trip which JJ taught and that felt pretty natural to me...He taught it well as I was able to follow it and hopefully I will be able to drill it enough to put into my toolbox soon. Went to rolling and felt good through the first couple of rolls...Ended up in the third or fourth one (don't remember which) but got a couple triangles, and didn't finish them, and worked my escapes by nearly allowing the pass and then scrambling to recover, but I was not dictating the action and ended up getting caught in a Heel hook while working for something I've never worked enough before to be trying in rolling. SNAFU. Right on time, and in time for the upcoming tournament, as if my hand and head weren't enough, though I didn't feel it then, my knee is throbbing now! Though I didn't expect it to be grabbed and cranked, I know it wasn't done maliciously, but I should have not left it there. Anyways, that is just like normal...Can't have a tournament where I feel good physically and mentally. Always seem to have somethign happen in both realmsbeofre I prepare for something. Just hoping that if I still go, I can muddle through. Hate NO-GI, and the way I've been feeling, not really worrying much about it or my performance in it. Kinda feels weird but I don't care much...Had my stuttering come back tonight as well. Don't know if it was the hit on the head or all the things going on with me, but it's really annoying and hasn't happened in a long time, and worrisome. Anyways, after that, riding home, I honestly heard a voice tell me to quit. Maybe it's my time. I don't know, but people and things have combined along with my own actions to take away the joy I had in the art. I am praying this is temporary. Praying hard about it so that I don't listen to that voice. For now... I fight on...



Thought For the Day:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Sunday, September 28, 2008

"Ahhhhhh....And Boom Goes The Dynamite"





Weight: 199.0

Well, taught class today...It started out really small....Just 3 people, but grew to ten...I started off with a really harsh cardio warm up for about 30 minutes...A result of my mood from yesterday I'd say (more on that later)...But as more folks came, and I got into teaching, my mood got better. I really LOVE doing this...I am hoping this means that feeling is back to stay, but I still could not fully rid myself of my thoughts about problems...Anyways...I taught transitions today, focusing on top side travel, and finishing in a brabo choke from mount...Also taught the Peruvian Necktie...The rolling was in drill form as well...We play the Call Out Submission game...The thing that made me feel good was that even though most of the students had just learned some of the things I called out, they tried and succeeded a few times with them...
Anyways, I did some cardio myself and walked myself intot eh lax/preparation week in anticipation of tne No-Gi Pan Ams this upcoming weekend (though I had another financial curveball thrown at me which looks to derail the competition:( )...Didn't feel too well still though so let it ride...As for how I got here...If you read the previous posts you know how I've been feeling...The physical problems are mounting, and the pain in my low back is pretty constant now(Hope to get the procedure done to it asap....Crappy insurance)...Anyways...YEsterday, I go over to check up on how things are going with the new gym, and help out a bit...I take my truck, and go to Home depot to get some 12' 2X8s to help finish up the boxing ring...I put them into my truck, but had to tie them down and tilt them in the truck as they were 6' longer than the bed...I was near where I live so I stop by my house to take the dog out....Park the truck right outside my garage...And go upstrairs....She's happy to see me as I hadn't been home since morning...I put her leash on and we go downstairs...The dog is happy to be out and starts to run...I figure to give her a good lil outing before I have to run back out and start to run with her and ....BOOM!....I am on the ground...I'd run into the two boards (HEAVY ass boards I might add)...I wake up to my dog franticly licking my face and nuzzling me to two knots (on on my head and one over my eye) and a really pounding headache...The pain was intense...Because of the angle and the tie down, the boards never moved, which made the impact much harder...Anyways, my head still is hurting and I've just felt a lil off today even though it is etter than yesterday...I hope it continues to get better...I just can't concentrate...Had to keep repeating things and struggling to remember terms in teaching today...Will get some rest, and try to get some hard competition specific training in tomorrow...Kinda tired of writing and head is hurting...Even so...I fight on....


Thought For Today: The Entire Book Of JOB





I really am trying.

Friday, September 26, 2008

"Catchin' Bullets?.....With His Teeth?..." Shonuff

Me, Coach Allen, James, Omar, And Ben
After The Last Mat Was Laid
The New Gym
Over 2K Sq/Ft Mat Space 24x24 5Rope Boxing Ring/And A lot Of Other Stuff

I Do....Don't I?

Wish I Could Feel This Way Right Now
Weight: 199.6

To be honest. I dunno where things are going right now...body feels broken...Not as much pain, even though there is a fair amount of it, but more a weight, an exhaustion. Yesterday I did not sleep well the night before, so through the early morning hours I exercised...Got to work and did the same...
After dealing with the job etc, I went to help out with getting some things in place in the new gym coach is moving into. As if I didn't have enough bodily issues, I had a several hundred pound steel beam (a support for the boxing ring) fall onto my hand and arm and pin me to the ground for a bit. I tried, but I had to have help to get it off...I was skrong at first...Attempted to use my manly muscle skrenff....Then....Tried invoking the Bruce Leroy Glow, the secret levitation techniques of the pharoahs, and the power of suggestion to tell myself I was someplace else and hope that moved me, but what worked in the end was to scream like a little girl to get help to come get it off me....The end bit into my hand and left a very tiny but neat and deep puncture wound into my hand as well as has my forearm hurting like a summamabitch...Today, there is a really bad sore/stiff/knot in my hand that got progressively worse over night. The grip in that hand sucks ass...If I am to compete next week, I dunno how I will work around it. A couple of technical things I was to work and clean up before then, I am not sure of how to proceed now because I am pretty limited as to one side...At least it may help that it's not GI as far as grips go...Training-wise the judo things as wella s some of my set ups which translate to NO-GI will be greatly affected I think... We will see...Honestly though, if I weren't injured in some way, I'd feel that things weren't normal...this really sucks. All that on top of the regular day to day problems with people and life made it really hard to concentrate on and in training...All this makes it seem as if things are conspiring to keep me from going next week to NY in addition to a few other places I was really hoping to be able to go...I'd gotten to the point where I really felt that training and competing, outside my daughter, were all I had. I was content with that too. Honestly felt that my purpose was finally realized to give some meaning to my life...Hellifiknow if that's really it, but it's starting to feel like it isn't. I'd hate to go back to how I was before I found this path...

I got a lot going on in my head about now, and don't think putting it down here is too relevant ....I fight on....

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Thrill Is Gone...I Will Love You Forever Tonight...

After Cardio/Plyo/Strength Work

I Need To Do More Of This

Damn You Evil Monkey!
Weight: 199.2

Went to work out tonight...First though watched my daughter's class...She actually bore down and had a good practice...Had very good rolls where she worked a guard pass I've shown her...and went for cross chokes and armbars of which she finished several...We still have to work on her giving up and allowing bad positions...Also need to work on keeping her finishing instinct going all the time...When she has it, she's a monster...When she doesn't she's just....There....I am very proud of her though...VERY...
On the topic of being "there"...Today was that day for me in a line of days as such...But today was just ....Extra.
Work, everyday life, money, etc all combined to just weigh a brotha down...Well I could always go in to train, gruff as can be, and about 10 minutes in, I would end up feeling a lot better as the thrill of doing what I connect with so well would take over...I'd be in another place, another time...Especially when rolling with good people, and definitely when rolling with coach, nothing can exist other than what you are doing...Sort of like when I had my motorcycle...I'd have a bad day and be down, and the mindless concentration(I came up with that term...it's copyrighted...anyone using it gets the dog piss choked out of em) necessary to stay alive while riding, would take away what I was upset about...Well tonight, no matter what I was doing, who I was rolling with, or how I went about my extra training it was as if I didn't enjoy it....I couldn't focus nor let things drop away...That hurt...
Only good to come from it, is that my control is there, my kneebars (from a couple different set ups) are coming along pretty nicely, and the things I've needed to close up as far as weaknesses seem to be getting smaller and smaller...This I know, because the things I did well, I did in spite of feeling the way I did...Even this realization didn't help though...I do know if I am to continue, I need to work on my passing a lot more diligently...Also need to work my hip movement and opponent hip control as well as my attack pacing...No-Gi specifically I need work on making my top game submissions automatic...
The body is telling me to slow down a bit...The neck is better but the nerves which are messed up in my hip and lumbar bother me even when just walking...That said, I did a reall good set of cardio/body weight/plyometric/jiu-jitsu specific exercises after my rolling tonight...Also went so far as to roll to exhaustion then rolled ten minutes more, which forced me to use straight technique to keep my advantage...to pass...to submit...All in all, my rolling cardio was better than I expected...Competing has kept me in condition...I hope to make NO-GI Pan AMs and perhaps US OPEN...Money says otherwise pretty much though....We shall see...
All that said, I hope this passes...If not, don't think that I can keep pushing myself to do it the way I am....Or perhaps not at all...For now...I fight on...

Thought For The Day: Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Fortitude...Focus...Finish...I Got To Do Better...







Weight: 200.0

***UPDATE 16:35***
Went to see the doc today...Not good...L5 and S1 are degenerating more, which has been causing the low back lock ups and the pain down my leg along with the feeling that feels sort of like a groin pull...Anyways...Another epidural procedure with the added hip joint injections along with an injection of a different sort to provide support for the vertebrae which is banging on my nerve...
As for this, Ive been in a horrible mood because I'm always hurting...Not meaning to be so, but just wears on me so that a lot of times I have no patience...I'm glad that the cervical pain is relieved but still when I am having issues just walking without pain it sucks ass...So hopefully the people I've been short with or been an asshole to, will forgive me.
************

Well this turned out to be a nice trip, even though focusing on the task at hand, was pretty much impossible. We had a pretty uneventful trip out. Ron and I traveled together. I got lucky and bumped up to First class, which helped a lot with my back and legs being tight. Kelly was already out there as was Kell. We went and got a good breakfast served up by Alma at our favorite Denny's...then headed to Cal St Dominguez Hills...Getting to the tournament, it seemed as if it was a tad bit smaller than normal (I'd say about 600 competitors approximately)...I would attribute it to having the NO-GI portion in conjunction with this tournament for the first time. My head was not all there, but I felt ready and strong...Met up with Jackjitsu from http://www.jiujitsuforums.com (go visit them and stay a while...is a very nice forum with good folks!) as well as Dirtyrancher from there...Also, got to meet with a producer I went to Southern University with who wants to (hopefully) use me in a reality-based show about competing/life/etc...That picked me up a bit, and once I saw the folks out there doing their thing, I got my head more into the tasks at hand...Met up with Tyler (http://www.gomgi.com) and Jake from Harligen BJJ as well...Was a good feeling to be back around the scene and good people...Ron and Kell were up first and both of them dominated their matches...Both took home Gold in their respective GI divisions...Ron didn't compete in the absolute...Kell did and won one and lost his second I think but he still did very well! Very proud of both of their performances...Kelly took first in his division as well and took third in his Absolute division losing a tough match to the eventual winner...Myself I got through my one match in my division and three in my absolute division all by submission, but very sloppy. It was as if I was not there. Things I'd worked on from months and had become a part of my jiu-jitsu lexicon just disappeared. I made little mistakes that were just inexcusable. Though I came out of it with two golds, it was not how it should have been. I need to really work on the mental aspect of my game, because life does not stop. I only have a few years left to be able to do this, and don't want to waste opportunities because of my own inability to stay in the moment. The night after the GI matches, we went to get some food at Chili's and I had no appetite for some reason...Ordered my ribs and potato soup (my usual at that spot) and ended up just forcing myself to have the soup and took the ribs with me...Unfortunately, my lack of focus had me to leave the ribs in the car when the valet took it to park over night...Made for a VERY bad smell in the car in the morning which added to the funk of the car. When we got the rental it smelt (yes, smelt) like raw ass and fish...we didn't notice until we got out of the parking lot as we thought it was in the air, but after a block with the windows down, and then staring at each other to see who was the offensive odor person, we realized it was probably the shampoo in the fabric...Anyways...The next morning we head back out for some good conversation and food at Denny's close to the tournament...We hit the venue after that, and get into the competition...Ron takes his division to get the gold as does Kelly....Kell doesn't compete in No-Gi and we find him over helping out with a table officiating!...I take my place and get my division win, then get ready for the Absolute...I get three straight submissions in the absolute but Ron misses all those and only gets my loss in the final on tape :(. I got a really nice transition from top in half guard to armbar that I haven't seen done before...I am currently looking online and asking about it, so that if it is something unique I can name it. Would be nice to have a move I came up with! :)...After the tournament, we went off to the mall to get chair massages and to visit our favorite store (Men's Land)...They always have the newest gear and kicks that I can't get in TX...Too bad I was broke as the ten commandments...Always seem to see stuff you'd like when you can't afford to buy it...Ah well, we went back tot he hotel to kill time...Got free drink tickets (too bad I don't drink) and had the best $15 burgers you ever want to eat!...Caught the 12:30am red eye back to the chicken fried nation...Kelly got stuck as his was a stand by flight and had to spend the night ...He got on the 8am flight the next morning...As for me and Ron's flight, it was good...I didn't even realize I was in the air until we touched down...This trip, though productive, and definitely full of opportunities for me to improve as far as what I need to work on, was not really enjoyable due to the mistakes as well as due to the weight of life on my shoulders...The return to "real life" was made a little less bearable because of that...Now in addition to my to do items, I have to go get checked out for my pre-op on my lumbar procedure and to see that my nerves are working correctly in my neck and shoulders...Hopefully all that works out...Anyways...check out some play by play after some pictures....




Here are my two final matches in the absolute of the GI portion of the tournament. I'd been concentrating VERY hard on my Judo throws and wrestling, as well as take down defense. I could not get anyone to stand and be able to work takedowns with me though. Ah well, mo betta for me. In the semi-final my opponent wanted to avoid the takedown game and wanted me to pull guard (he told my teammate this after the match)...Well better for me as that is a strength of mine, even though I came into this tournament to work throws, passing, and top game...The one thing I did feel good about, was that even as my hips were not getting out and I was not working the way I should, I made my mind up to try some things other than the norm, and got the finish with a cross choke from guard after working several different lapel chokes etc...The second opponent wanted to pull guard and I feel that my height and my specific work avoiding guard pulls allowed me to negate that....Got a sweet pass on that match too but sucked ass as I went to mount VERY incorrectly and worked in a cross choke but also set that incorrectly...Once again, I allowed a position change too easily...Even though I feel strong there, I have to break that habit if I ever wish to advance in skill/rank/ability. That is a dangerous game to play even with how I feel I operate there...That said I did get the finish but my control was not there at all...Anyways, LOTS for me to work on from these and the other two absolute matches(finished by toe-hold and armbar respectively)...Here are those vids...


GI Absolute Semi-Final Match




GI Absolute Final Match



This match is particularly disappointing as I make several little mistakes which added up to the loss. My focus was NOT there, and it is particularly disappointing as I felt my technique was in order for what I was planning to do. The preparation was ok, though my focus in training was off, so perhaps that is why things turned out as they did. Even though I get him in the triangle a couple times, I do not stick with the choke, I strain too much on the squeeze twice, and I do not rotate my knee and switch my hips correctly, which makes it much harder to finish. In addition, I give up the reversal to allow for a quicker submission, even though I have worked on passing and submitting from that very position. Had I finished, this would have been ok, but, sometimes you don't. In addition, I did not move to the omo plata as I've been training to do when the triangle is blocked nor did I work on the several ways to break into the keylock or armbar(I worked this one PERFECTLY in the semi-final match, but my cameraman [thanks Ron!] missed the whole match)...Honestly, I am disgusted with my performance here, and have too many things to work on now. Does make me go back to hating No-Gi though, so maybe there's a plus! lol I just have to get better and make certain that the things I've been adding to my game are actually implemented and acted upon. Also, have to work on eliminating these imperfections.Here's the video (unfortunately the other matches in the NO-GI were somehow missed...Dunno why or how but Ron didn't get em...:(:(:( )...


NO-GI Absolute Final Match




The battle is just beginning...I fight on...


Thought For The Day: Art begins in a wound, and is an attempt either to live with the wound or to heal it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

You Ain't Got To Get Ready If You Stay Ready....

"The Hook To Track #13 off Young Jeezy's 'The Recession'"

On The Job

15 September 2008 After Class Physique...It's Getting There...
A WHOLE LOT Of Work To Go Though...

With "Bull"...Congrats New Father In A Few Days

Read His Lips! LOL


Weight: 204.8


Weight coming along nicely and the physique is getting chopped up a lil better though this groin pull and tight hamstring are working in conjunction to make my life miserable...The neck is feeling a thousand percent better since the procedure though...So much so, that I am looking forward to having the same thing done on the lumbar/sac area enthusiastically...

The classes I teach are an eye opener...My students really are like surrogate children to me...And they are beating the odds having only the two nights a week of classes and really progressing such that I can see it week to week...The uniqueness of each student and how they learn gives me opportunities to advance my own knowledge of the art by having to adapt techniques not only to different body types etc but also to how they relate to different methods of demonstration and assimilate different things at different rates...It's a really good experience, and even the trying times and a trying student or two are all rewarding...I hope they are receiving even part of what I've been given from the art...That all said, tonight in class I had one student actually ask me to have a lot more repetition...Something I'd been angling to have them realize on their own...And they did! So the way I've been wishing to teach them and moving toward (thought they may not have seen it) can be fully implemented and honestly I think they will progress even faster now...

Back to me and the title of the post...Normally, the only place I have peace is when I am on the mats...Nothing exists there...No problem...No worry...No issue...Not even my opponent...But lately...My mind is like the notebook room in Tyler Durden's house from the movie Fight Club...Personal relationships...Projects at work...Injury and the possibility of health issues...the drugery of life all vie for attention at the most inopportune times...And it seems today, I got more heaped upon me in all these areas and more especially where it comes to dealing with people in all facets of my life...The thing is, I have been taught, try to teach others, and ascribe to, the idea that staying prepared, allows you to perform at the level you are accustomed to...Just lately it hasn't been that easy...The joy I found always in being able to have peace at the only place to have provided it is fading...I don't want to lose it...I will have to practice what I preach soon as the American Nationals are coming this weekend (Hell, even just getting there was a chore that intruded into thoughts until tonight!)...Last year I took my division and absolute and it is a goal I set in January to do the same this year...We shall see...It's only Tuesday and I don't see things, especially where other people are involved getting any less heavy on my mind throughout this week...ehhh...It's a lot deeper than all this butto go beyond takes it out of the realm of dealing with jiu-jitsu and my journeys through it (the TRUE purpose of this blog), and into whining...Ain't tryna do that..

Training is coming along well...My ability to adapt my own learning of techniques to be most effective for me...In asking what I needed to improve on to bring my game to the next level...One of my biggest holes was takedowns...This I am closing in a hurry...Last night in class...Had the sweetest set of judo throws all in a consecutive set in King of Takedowns last night...including a beautiful (if i say so myself lol) lateral drop on a REALLY good wrestler and a very nice hip toss from overhook control on a very tough guy who outweighs me by about 30 lbs...did it perfect as he felt like a feather the whole time...Honestly felt good to see the fruits of concentrating on my wrestling and judo so hard lately...I have a few more holes to continue to work on...plus I am going back to do a few months of basic escape drilling from all areas ....That's gonna suck ass, but is necessary to stay sharp...If I can keep the pain of my lower back and groin pull out of my head everything will be aiight...Anyways...I'm tired...I know I've missed a lot of things but will hit it all next time I post....Sorry...I fight on...


Thought Of The Day: One great cause of failure is lack of concentration.
-- Bruce Lee
Thought 2:
NOBODY'S BETTER THAN YOU!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Pins And Needles...Needles And Pins...






Weight: 200.2


Well back at it again...Went in for another surgical procedure on my neck. Had a check up that said that now instead of the c6 and c7 disks degenerating, you can add c5 to that list... This time had the epidural injections but also added a surgical gel injection to the c6 to take pressure off nerves there...Really hoping this works, as the alternative is definitely one I do not look forward to...I still have to return for one more procedure on the lower back to relieve the hip issues I have...Damn I'm gettin old...

Don't have too much to report on other than besides the neck/health stuff...Other than all that I feel great. I do however see more than a few holes I need to close up in guard defense and I also need to employ my top, tight passing game in competition mode more. People who have seen or heard of me and my game go to great lengths not to allow me to play a guard game with them, and I have worked extensively on my passing and submission from the top to the point it's now about as second nature as my guard game. The problem is, as a firm believer in dancing with the horse that brung me here, It's taking a bit to force myself to allow my mind to override my body's ingrained desire to be more confident working from guard. I have also done a lot with my judo and wrestling. That is DEFINITELY no where I wish it to be, but I am certain if my opponents would not be so eager to pull guard so as to avoid mine, I could see it be pretty efficient, or at least see the hole...Not sure how I should take that...Anyways, I have lot's to work on, and seeing those at the level I wish to reach, I know I have a VERY long way to go. I fight on....


Thought For Today:

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.” ~Jack Handy

Monday, September 8, 2008

Late But On Time




Weight: 202.5

I know, I know it's been a LONG time. Just got a little overwhelmed with life (losing and gaining a job), Students (learning the nuances of dealing with teaching different personalities), and with training in general. I am sorry, I just have also had issues with dealing with what I actually put in here as opposed to what should go in here and the indecision about how to properly document things in addition to getting my daughter acclimated to school, bjj, homework schedule has just limited the time I get to put things down...

I will do better though...

Let's see...In the time I've been gone, I've had my first set of students test and had 3 that got their 1st stripe on their White Belts...Been through a LOT as far as training is concerned...Had some AMAZING results in class on several holes that I've closed up and have felt really good about my ability to adapt moves to my own particular needs/etc....At the same time have felt some complete frustration at my inability at times to deal with things so simple that should be second nature...My mind just isn't as sharp and I'm not sure why....Did a lot of refereeing..lost to a 2 time black belt world champion...Taught a few private lessons...Got invited to do a seminar (hope this comes through)...Worked with one of my boys (Ron) and saw him continue to improve while winning pretty much everything he's been entering (placing no less than 2nd when he hasn't)...

Anyways...Been having a really good time also with my daughter being back at class...Had her come back in her third class after returning from being gone over the summer...Did a in-house tournament..and the 1st match she had she got a nice head snap to outside leg trip take down...passed guard...went to mount...worked the collar choke to set up the triangle...set it...rolled and finished...the next, she got an inside trip...went to mount and finished with an Ezekiel choke from the mount...VERY proud of her...Next tournament coming around I will put her in...

My teaching has been going well...Have a good couple of guys who are blue belts where I train, who come to help so I can demonstrate the techniques and all in all a great bunch of students who really want to learn...They improve on the whole every class which is a good feeling for me as it shows their commitment...There is one, who my coach says God sent me to test me...Honestly, the guy tests me EVERY class...I haven't blown up yet, and pray that I don't ever, but it is VERY hard...

Been working much more top game, in trying to make more efficient and automatic, my submissions from the top...I still remove my weight too much at times, but have been able to compensate with movement and staying ahead in my set ups...But that must be eliminated...a few new GI chokes as well as chokes that can be translated to no-gi have found themselves to be very natural feeling so I've got more weapons as well as I think I have discovered one unique move and 1 unique set up for triangle that I am researching..won't say what, nor will I teach them until I see if this is the case...I truly hope it is...Also have to work on my attitude...Need to go back to my Go Gettem attitude...Need to get back to attacking...

My health is ok in general but have messed up my neck and lower back once again. The pain and numbness is creeping back into my forearms and my neck has been causing headaches (as well as lack of sleep and perhaps pressure onto my nerve center) and I am having another cortico epidrual procedure on this Wednesday to see if I can get this feeling to go away as it is killing me in training...Also, ended up passing out and having a seizure while at the Battle of H-Town...Went to the doctor today...Had a neuro work up as well as passed information to my oncologist...Also had the little test where they measure impulses in nerves and some are off...It seems my neck issues may be the problem but hopefully not. The procedure Wednesday, along with a second (to be scheduled later) which would target problems in my lower back (which is causing sciatica and some other hip problems) and my Brachial plexus will resolve all this...Thank you to Conrinha, Pat Hardy, Leonardo Xavier, Raphael Ellwanger, and the attending doctors for all taking care of me and showing such concern when I was out.

anyways...American Nationals are coming up...can't afford it but hopefully some sponsorship will come up...Also just hope to feel ok enough to even be able to do it physically...Even though I hate no-gi, the No-Gi Pan Ams are making history in New York so I hope to be able to get to that one too...Once again got to find sponsors to make that happen...Hotels in New York are high as giraffe ass on a 757....I have given up on making the Asian Open in Tokyo in Nov. and may try to work towards doing the European Open in Portugal in Jan...Not sure though....We shall see how things fall...

I have more people to introduce you to, and more things to say, but for now just want you to know I'm back on the case, and will be more regular with it...


Thought For The Day: When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

The warrior's intention should be simply to grasp his sword and to die.
- Kiyomasa Kato (1562-1611)