I Know that It's Comin'...I Just Hope That I'm Alive For It...

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Weight: 218.2

First Of All - R.I.P. Uncle Percy
There is a concept I have read of called Aliveness (Click Here To Read About It) in BJJ that I have played around with. I took a lot from this article and really sat and thought a lot about how I could expand upon this for myself...The concept says that Aliveness is timing, energy, and motion. For something to truly be alive, it must possess all these three elements. I have been playing around with this idea and added my own philosophy to it lately. In addition to those three things, I think that to be in the Aliveness state in BJJ requires a true state of openness...Meaning to be in the moment at all times...If you are truly IN the moment, and possess all of the other attributes, then you will always be ahead of your opponent...The philosophy of the technique/position you are trying to implement must also be understood...Not merely the mechanics of the technique or position, but the actual objective and aim of it which also gives you ability to tie it in to other techniques/positions without thought...

All that said, I have been attempting to use this in my own practices instead of merely drilling/rolling etc...It has paid off great dividends as between the great instruction I hvae been receiving, and the work I DO put in to drilling/rolling, the understanding and ability to be alive within the moment has really been evolving...The last few practice sessions I have had have really been great...I actually allowed myself to triangle someone yesterday... I have purposely pushed myself away from the technique in the recent months...At first it felt like I was really ineffective...That said, with my recent success from the top game in Rio, and with the lessons learned from Coach Marcus and Coach Allen, it was the best thing I could ever do...My passing has become very heavy and crisp, and I still have a LOT I can improve upon...That gives me hope that I can actually one day be close to the level I would like to attain...I still have much work to do to get to the proper body positioning for the half guard/x-guard passes...Especially working to get my knee down properly to prevent the x-guard pass has been problematic, but because of the great understanding I have received from my privates with Coach Marcus on that position, I at least understand the objective, and have been able to adapt and adjust on the fly, even when I don't get to the "perfect" position....Also, with the same info on a couple of my favorite side control submissions (Especially the Paper-Cutter Choke) I got from Coach Allen, I can adjust to ensure success with the position even when I don't quite get there from the beginning...

I had gotten some confidence that I would be able to at least win a match or two at Mundials from my performance at the Brazilian Nationals...Also, the practices I have been having have been crisp, while my cardio has been holding up well...This helps me to feel like I can at least be competitive enough not to look silly out there...In short, I felt like my being(and feeling) as old as I am could be over come, at least for a weekend at the World Championships...Also, had Coach Allen ask me the other day after watching me practice, what brand/type Black Belt I wanted, as he wanted me to have the kind I liked...That all depends upon me winning my division, which I am really not too sure I will come anywhere near doing...Well, it's the last few days until the registration deadline (Tuesday, 26 May 2009), and now the plane tickets have jumped from $229 to $449...Would still have to get a hotel room, and a rental car as well...Due to a lot going on in my life...I won't be able to afford to go...Maybe it is for the best, as I don't feel, even with how good I have been doing, that I am near warranting the promotion...I will have to work hard to get a sponsor or two to be able to get to some of these tournaments as things aren't so good as they used to be,where I could handle these type things myself...So if anyone knows any companies/individuals who would be a candidate to be a sponsor, please let me know...

Some great news...Coach Allen has made it possible for me and my school to become an official member of the Alliance organization...This will allow for a lot of benefits to the school...This is a really good thing to happen! I look forward to being a very productive member, and living up to the trust instilled in me.
Also...congratulations to my good friend Tyler Bosard....He received his Black Belt today from Draculino and Leo Cantu...He has been a great friend and also is my equipment sponsor (www.gomgi.com - best GIs and grappling gear in the world!!!) ...Tyler runs Gracie Barra - RGV...If you are ever down in that area...Make sure to pay his school a visit!...He is a very technical and knowledgeable BJJ artist! Congrats Tyler!!!

It seems in BJJ there is a LOT of loss to deal with...It is something that both builds character, and teaches how to overcome adversity within the art itself...Been dealing with a lot of loss of confidence as I really just know enough to be dangerous now...Knowing the things I do, I can see how far I am from being what people think I am on the mat...I really hope to be able to live up to these thoughts of me in the near future and will be on the mat as much as I can, to be able to move forward...It's just humbling to know how much you really don't know...To look at yourself and not see the person everyone else does...That said, BJJ for me is a microcosm of life...Loss sucks ass, but I am trying my best to take it, and hope to make something positive from it if that is at all possible...I never thought that I would still be alive now, much less being able to do anything productive...So...I fight on...


Thought For the Day: "Death is not the greatest loss in life...The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."