Wednesday, October 15, 2008
What's Myyyyyy Motivation? (I Played hamlet At Cambridge!)
I know I know...As usual I am slackin'...I have got to update the NY Trip post, as well as talk about the private lesson with Fabio Gurgel, along with a few other things....I will do so this week definitely...But, for now...Jiu-Jitsu...
Monday night, even though I was still hurting from my recent procedure, and just not feeling motivated, as well as having a LOT of turmoil in my everyday life, I went to class...A few things stick out, but one thing is, Black Belts in BJJ are truly at that rank for a reason...A highlight of the evening was watching my daughter in class, actually use effectively a standing pass I had been trying to work with her. I need to be a lot more patient with her, and I am working on it, but I see so much potential in her, and to have her do it, without coaching, and have it work...Seeing her face happy about it, and doing well brought me many levels higher after having such a screwed up day...I got to warm up the class as usual...And we went into the techniques...We went over back escapes, as well as some attacks from mount and contingencies for dealing with movements by the bottom opponent...It's really good to see, that my understanding of techniques is such now that I can see the tiny adjustments to be made and focus on them rather than the gross motor movements of a particular move as I've put in the work to the point most things are natural to me...That said, my understanding of where I wish to be, and ability to pick up on these things lets me know truly how much work I have ahead of me....I've come up with a few new goals, and honestly, the amount of effort and work necessary to achieve them seems truly beyond me...Especially in my current state of being where people and things siphon off my enthusiasm for the only thing to have brought me peace of mind...But I digress, When it came time to roll, I ended up starting with one of our really good Blue Belts (he's a really nice guy and a policeman by day....strong as hell!)...He is one of those people who always has given me problems passing and at times finishing submissions...His defense is great...To be honest he is very close, if not right at Purple Belt level...Anyways, I start with him in half guard, and work immediately for a nice sweep which is an area of my game I have been working on diligently, but had put to the side for passing work...Anyways, I allow him to replace full guard so that I can work my break and pass...The lesson with Fabio Gurgel was in my head, and the ease with which I passed surprised him and me...The biggest thing, is that it was with pretty much no physical effort...I'd always known passing to require a physical brutality that I had to forcefully muster up...But not only did the pass work perfectly, the side control(another point of emphasis in that lesson) felt 100% tighter and allowed me to freely work my submissions...I do need to work on my swiftness and decisiveness on my kneebars though...It is fast becoming a favorite to rival Gi chokes in my arsenal, but I need to pull the trigger muuuuuch quicker and tighten up my control ad positioning....Next I got to roll with coach Allen and I decided to go about attempting a few new positions and techniques....I did a LOT better than I thought I would, but I got put into danger and ended up chasing a lot more than I am used to...New things are not to be worked out on Black Belts unless you want to get smashed....That said, I was able to still work, had a few really good things happen, and was able to recognize bad things coming, and feel great about that....coach showed me by his movements a few more things I need to work to improve on...I'm always grateful when I get to roll with coach for the amount I end up learning...I am not able to take breaks or have shoddy technique...That does wonders for me...Just don't get to do so often enough...I rolled after this with one of our other Black Belt instructors - Carl...Known for his toughness and his real quick decisiveness on pretty much any submission he chooses, I got to have a much greater appreciation for his reversal game and even though I started each time with him in side control, I was able to work to get to neutral positions and in a few cases to reverse and pass....his was only to be worked over afterward, but I feel good about that roll as well...He showed me a lot of small areas to work on...Looking forward to seeing him compete next year....Honestly, it was good because the concentration level required to roll with these guys allowed me to once again lose myself in the art...to be lost on the mats and be free...I've really been missing that.
Anyways...Tuesday was another horrid day of dealing with people personally, though I had some really good things accomplished at work...Bad energy really does transfer easily from other people into your being...I'm going to work to rid myself of this type thing...It's stealing my joy and I really don't know what I'd do if another source of peace of mind is stolen from me, whether by my hand or not (i.e. my motorcycle, music, basketball....)...anyways, on the way to class, I have another transference of really bad energy, and went in to teach in a very bad mood...This is not good because I don't want to affect the students I have in ANY way that would cause them to be discouraged at this early stage of their travel because really, it is hard enough as it is just to stay in the game so to speak...But We go in and Kell had started warming them up without me even asking...GREAT guy...lucky to have him helping out...That said, we move into the technique portion of class...My problem child, though he asked a lot of questions still, was actually moving a tad bit better and asking relevant questions...The students were really able to take their own route, and adapt to the techniques as I gave them options they could understand it seems....How do I know this? They actually were using the things taught in class (in addition to the few techniques they know) when we went to the rolling portion of class...I ran them really hard in this part too...even the problem worked through his troubles and complications to actually finish out what I put them through (30 min of intense cardio warmup and jiu-jitsu specific drills..40 min of technique/drills...20min of nonstop rolling) gave them no break between partners and thy kept at it...Between them using their techniques as best they could, to them not quitting and pushing through physical hardships, they made me sincerely proud!!!!
Today, I am really feeling it in my right hip, and my knee is still jacked...Very scared to go to the doctor about it...neck is feeling ok, but not 100%, but I look forward to being able to leave behind me, at least for a short time tonight, the issues and problems of the world, and energy of other people...That, is my motivation...I still doubt, that the goals I have will be attained...I do not see me being on par with them, but, nonetheless....I fight on....
Thought For the Day: God carries what you cannot.
Posted by Pesadelo at 11:51