^^^And The Winner Is^^^
Right Before I Am The Freest 
One Of The Models For My Jiu-Jitsu To BeLast night at class, once again, when I started, I was preoccupied with problems and problems with people...My mind was and continues to be heavy about just life issues as well as not really feeling like I carry the belt well enough...i.e. I don't feel like I should be where I am, and really, been feeling like no matter how I train, I am not doing so effectively enough to get me to the goals I have....Anyways, technique-wise, I can concentrate on working to close some of the holes I feel are in my game...It's just the overall objective that is blurred and hard to follow for me...
I got to warm up the class...This is really a joy for me, but I have to ratchet it back a tad bit...I forget that everyone is not going to want that same level of intensity and have to moderate how I do it so everyone can be effective and still function...I was happy though, as after class, I had a student come up and ask if I would help him come up to a level of cardio that would allow him to work and function on the level that I was driving them towards tonight...
Anyways, my top game is coming along...In as much as I am comfortable in my passes and can adapt and change between techniques naturally without much if any thought...My weight (crushing) is really coming along as well...My problem I feel is being able to pull the trigger on whichever submission (as well as getting to the proper position to administer it as well as allow for other submission options) I wish to deploy is lacking...That said, we worked on X-Guard reversals (to which I also worked a few counters) as well as a jump triangle and then went into a take down run drill....This is where you have groups of three and the man in the middle does a takedown on each partner and runs back and forth with no break doing so...My inside leg trips are getting very good as are a few of my Judo throws from outside positions...Won't say which in case competitors are watching...I am working to get to a point where opponents would much rather my guard to standing with or pulling gurad on me...I am close...There is one of my throws that I am sloppy on and I turned to our resident wrestling expert on it...Got a tip and will work this much harder....Anyways, when it was time to roll, I chose to start with him...or a few reasons...Being this year's Pan Am champ at Blue in a division with like 80 people in it, he is a tough character...this is mostly akin to his quick learning and the fact he was a national wrestling champion...not only are his takedowns really good, but his scrambling and top comtrol are brutal...He gives fits to black belts and when passing if you are not 100% on top of things he is gone and or on top of you...Just has some real unorthodox things he does that work, that yo don't expect b/c no one should be able to do...Anyways...I start in his guard...Again, working the break and pass techniques learned in my private with Fabio went GREAT!...I went from the break to the pass easily..This, I had always done, but the difference here was when I moved after the break, my control to side-mount was very efficient...I not only got to where I was going, but I got there and isolated an arm in a particular position I've been working on...I got there, worked three different chokes, moved to mount allowed a power roll, and swept back and passed to side and got the same control...Transitioned through a few different GIchokes then moved back to mount for cross choke...Here, I sucked...Just was unable to make the damn thing work...this, even though I had the first hand in damn near behind his neck...Just was having a brain feeze I hope, because this has been a go-to move lately...I need to work it...A lot...It's a staple of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and I want my jiu-jitsu to be "Beautiful Rice And Beans" (Ask me if you don't know what this means...)
Healthwise, I am jacked up...Haven't really given my back time to sort itself out and it aches...Not as bad as before the procedure though...My knee though...Man that sucker ain't shit...I really need to go to the doc but scraed he will tell me I have to stop training...Though mentally and emotionally I am really close to quitting, I have not made my mind up to do so as of now, and don't want to be forced to do it...I keep icing it and stretching etc...It bothers me during practice but I mask it enough I think that most don't notice it...We will see how it holds up this coming Sunday....I have gotten the means to go to the US Open...(God fixed this one up for me very nicely!)...Competing against a very decorated and tough opponent in my first match..Hope to make it past that one and get to my goal for this year....After that, I begin shutting it down (Competing perhaps in Houston and in Louisiana, but no more for the year)...No matter what I decide as far as how I move ahead from here, I will begin some intensive strength and flexibility training to get up to 220lbs. by end of January...I came up with a nice logo I think (with help from errybody who gave their opinion of course) for my school if I continue to realize that part of my journey...It is the one you see above...If I can get a school going well enough...or hell, if I can get more than 10 students where I teach on tuesdays and thursdays in plano, I will get my affiliation in order and use the version of the logo above but with the alliance eagle in the middle...We shall see...
As far as my head, and where it's at, it seems turmoil is all around...Just hard to focus, so what I will do, is go to my mountain per se...Keep my head down, stay even more to myself, and allow things and people and issues to go on without me...No more bad energy, no worry other than for essentials of life and my daughter...Jiu-Jitsu has saved my life in many ways, I will do my part and continue to attempt to move forward...Can't do that if I can't see the road ya dig? Anyway.here I go rambling and you, who read this are sitting there not knowing to what I refer, thinking...He crazy as hell...Nah...Just frustrated, tired, a tad depressed, sick of hurting, and wanting to be better all around...I will be...so for now...I fight on....
Thought For Today: "When The Fighters, Are All Around....All The Lovers Are On The Ground..."
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