Silent Assassin...

Meet Pesadelo
Since The Gorilla Couldn't Be Used

This Is Going To Be The Logo!

Hope for My Jiu-Jitsu To Be Close To His One Day!

Yoga Feel Guuuuuuuud!

Me At 203
Seven Mo To Go Up

Weight: 203.6

Training has been going so-so...Not so much hitting a plateau as playing with all of my weak spots in my game, and feeling vulnerable about it....Hate it though because as competitive as I am, i don't like giving people the idea they can get the better of me...Have to put that away though, because I need to clear out these holes and make certain I can pull anything I wish out of my bag whenever I need it...funny though, I have worked hard as hell on my takedowns and now, no one will stand with me...Good thing I've brought my passing up a notch, but it isn't near black belt level IMO, and that needs to be handled asap!...something else is that I've allowed
emotion to creep into my rolling/training once more...I've always prided myself on not getting to high nor too too low in my travels...I abhor losing, and use those feelings to fuel prevention of mistakes made in the future, but the thing I always wished to be was calm, precise, and effective...In such a manner as to none of the emotions of life interfere with my execution, but also where none of the feelings during a match would be displayed to give any hint or advantage to my opponent...It was noted, by someone who watched all my matches that I could never live down the exaltation after winning in Brazil earlier this yea, as they felt it was funny to see me show some emotion after being so cold and calculating in the other matches...that was a compliment...But lately, it's been hard to contain...Guess it's turmoil in my everyday life that makes it hard to hold onto in my once impervious place of peacefulness...Anyway, it has to go...One way or the other...
On techniques, I've been playing a lot with half-guard sweeps, as well as my closed guard sweeps...there are a few De La Riva sweeps and controls I need to work much better, as well as perfecting and shoring up my control to finish passes..In other words, making certain I get to a good finishing side control or mount after passing or as I am passing on a higher level...from beginning to there I feel very confident breaking to passing to transitioning between passes, but at my level it's harder now to contain and finish the pass so this is getting worked on now...
Decided I want to fight sometime in March or April, just the one fight Whether I can get cleared or not I don't know....But training will be in order...
Got an invite to the Copa Alliance tournament (all Alliance teams in Brazil) in Sao Paulo, brazil this coming weekend...Travel will be a BITCH ...IF I get to go, I'd leave Friday...Get there 6am Saturday morning...compete....then leave at 12:50am that night(technically sunday morning) and be back about 1135am Sunday in time to get dresssed, pick up my daughter and teach Sunday class!....Phew! Well anyways..a problem with the bank account(some bs bout it may have been compromised...and some prior plans for this weekend...on top of not necessarily wanting to go out of town underfunded may all combine to keep me away...Would be great to compete there though...would be a good thign tofurther bond with the team and professor Gurgel as well as test myself against very good competition who roll a tad differently than we do here in Brazil...Will be good for some personal reinforcement...Even though I've performed ok in tournaments and in teaching, I still feel as though my coming up so fast, makes me somehow unworthy of my belt, and always wonder if I am really good or not...Doesn't feel like it at times..That, coupled with the fact, that I have not met (and feel like I am far away from) my goals, keeps me feeling inadequate on the mat...doubt...the silent assassin...I HAVE to try to get it out of my game...
Well, I am off to my Yoga class...I feel GRRRREAT when I leave there...This has been a really wonderful thing, as I can be really calm, even when I'm struggling to hold the poses...but the body feels really good because of it after classes...May update this after then, but definitely look out for an update to some other posts later this week...As for me...I fight on...

Thought For Today:
"If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected." - Sun Tzu, the Art of War