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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"It Be Callin' Me..."

Weight: 217.2

Well, I admit it....I have a problem....They say, admitting I have a problem, will be the first step in solving that problem...So here goes:
Hello, My name is Stephen...
***Imaginary Voices*** "Hi, Stephen."

...and I'm a Jiu-jitsu addict!

***Imaginary Applause***

Well, the mind is willing but the body is weak...I am pleased with the outcome of this week's tournament(Two Gold Medals, All matches won by submission), but the manner and way the matches went, I really see much to improve upon. Coach Allen has put it out there that if I won the Pan Ams and the Master/Seniors World's that he would belt me. I don't know how to feel about that. I have some really deep seated life issues about completing things that I may or may not pour out about the time the day of my promotion comes whenever it may be, but in my mind, I do not feel at all ready, nor worthy of that rank yet. Seeing where I wish to be, watching those I hold in high esteem teach and compete, and knowing what I and others expect and think a Black belt should be; I do not feel that I am any of that. All that said, I was inspired to put more effort into my training, smarter thought and preparation into it as well....I know that I do not work hard enough (not as hard nor as frequently as those who have done what I wish to do in the art). To do so, requires a re-dedication of mind and body that will take a lot out of me as the opening of my school looms, as does a few other tournaments which I'd hoped to compete in come up...Well, I consulted with Marcus today as I do with most of my preparation and competition questions, and pretty much he confirmed what I thought...I need to shut it down for a bit. On that note, no more training for me until next Monday. Haven't had a week off in as long as I can remember. I'd always say I would, but would keep visiting the gym and eventually(usually a day or two) I'd end up back on the mats...I'm like Pookie from New Jack City, except I fiend to choke people out not smoke out with people! LOL....I know I need to scale back some things but doing so seems to take me farther from the ending which will begin the rest of my career(Faixa Preta)...Lack of sponsorship in addition to just not having enough to do it on my own, will prevent me being able to compete in Brazil in May for the Brasileiro(Brazilian National CHampionships, and perhaps from another couple tournaments so that schedule will lighten up, but I need to take care in scheduling training once I start teaching April 13. Witht he hours in place, I will have to add some day training, and private scheduling to make sure I continue my progression. We shall see how it is..Hopefully, some decently skilled people in addition to some new comers will enroll at my school making it easier for me to have some good training...Anyways, I will listen as I've never been steered wrong by Marcus and put myself on the shelf until Monday...Against the pull of the addiction to the gentle art, and in general just to get better....I fight on...

Thought For The Day: When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible. Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you’re tremendously passionate about.


coryd said...

There is much to be proud of when seeing your accomplishments and observing your progression.

I've noticed something interesting about promotions as we've trained over the years... It seems (in my opinion) that the more a student deserves a promotion, the more inclined (s)he is to not want it just yet. I think it may be the realization that they have found comfort and security in the rank they currently hold knowing that they can defend it, coupled with the unknown challenges to be faced with the next promotion. In the end its not the sudden realization that you deserve the next belt that you accept it, but that you find peace with your progression and accept the next challenge that is put before you.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I'm so proud of you! I remember meeting you at the state of TX hip hop show in Austin in...geez what was 2005 or 2006??? Then, I remember seeing you compete in the Houston ground control tourney as a white belt...seems like we got blues about the same time around the end of 06. Wish that I've progressed as much as you in 3 years :)) (course I've been on hiatus...) Anywho, you're dedication, passion, and competitive drive is inspiring! keep doing you! :)


david pitts said...

when is your school opening and whats the contact info? do you have web page?