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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

R.A.W. - Back To How It Was

Older post never finished...
Weight: 235.2

Seems I just can't stay away. Not because I keep coming back, but because the world wishes stasis. to wit, I offer that I was much more salty as a blue belt. The training then, and the hunger was such that I thought I could fight armies alone and win convincingly. Within my Jiu-Jitsu, I slowly have been coming to grips with the fact that I am really just NOT World class by any definition of the word, and will never be. That realization has taken some of the steam from my sails as I've always been a results/goal driven person. Without that goal, it is much harder for me to struggle with the pain of progress and persist as I must to endure trials through to their conclusion. i.e. It's hard as hell for me to just train hard, without having something to shoot for.
All told, I pulled back and starting placing a lot more into my school, and my students. that gave me a bit of a resurgence.

To be finished later....I fight on...

Back At It...The Fruit Is In The Labor

Weight: 224.2

Back in  the blogging house, and hopefully will stay here and build again often. Also back to the mats after my recent knee surgery/blood clot hospitalization/back surgery...The injuries never really mattered much to me, as I've realized from early on in my pursuit of the gentle art, how blessed I am to be able to walk onto those mats and test my limits. I also knew intimately the struggle of many who could only hope to ever have even a casual normal walk down the street. with this past knee injury, I felt and still somewhat feel helpless as even now towards the end of my recovery/PT period, I cannot really walk fast and normal, much less run. On the mat I have been able to adjust to my infirmity as it were, by focusing much more on placing myself in new positions which do not rely upon my left leg as much. This has a couple effects, one, it takes away some of my options for finishing that I had before, as my personal belief was to chase each and every submission as it presented itself; and two, it has really worked to sharpen my passing again, and top control game. Hoping to return (admittedly perhaps too aggressive in conception) to the rings of competition at the Atlanta Open Sept 15 and then to make my mark at the Master & Senior World championships Oct. 7 barring no major setbacks between then and now. To be able to perform well despite the lingering weakness in my leg among other issues will allow me to prove myself true to the aims of the gentle art. It would be remiss if I thought that my validation would be in the medal at the end of  those championships. the fruit is in the actual training...The little tweaks in my game that I have been forced to make, and that have forced me down new paths I may not have come to otherwise.When again I stand on the competition ring, I will already have won through the knowledge gained, and sweat spilled in my journey to get there...
Lots has happened since I left these pages. My students have won championships, I have graduated a few to new belts(one brown, one purple, and one blue), I was promoted to First Degree Black Belt at the Hands of Maestre Jacare', and we received into the gym new mats to help further the training we do at PBJJ. I will make certain to write and document more frequently as I had been before. Hope to see you on the mats...Through the pain though, I fight on...

Though For The Day: "Everything you want, is on the other side of fear!"