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Weight: 235.2
Seems I just can't stay away. Not because I keep coming back, but because the world wishes stasis. to wit, I offer that I was much more salty as a blue belt. The training then, and the hunger was such that I thought I could fight armies alone and win convincingly. Within my Jiu-Jitsu, I slowly have been coming to grips with the fact that I am really just NOT World class by any definition of the word, and will never be. That realization has taken some of the steam from my sails as I've always been a results/goal driven person. Without that goal, it is much harder for me to struggle with the pain of progress and persist as I must to endure trials through to their conclusion. i.e. It's hard as hell for me to just train hard, without having something to shoot for.
All told, I pulled back and starting placing a lot more into my school, and my students. that gave me a bit of a resurgence.
To be finished later....I fight on...
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"It's hard as hell for me to just train hard, without having something to shoot for."
This is what got me into jiu jitsu in the first place. I'm naturally very oriented toward concrete goals I started training because I wanted to do something without something really measurable at the end of the rainbow. It's also the reason I haven't competed (yet). The challenge for me is to just be part of BJJ and vice versa...to contribute and connect without the fight. It's still difficult, but I've learned a lot about my character these past few years.
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