You Gon' Turn Me Back To The Old Me...The New Me Apparently Isn't Good Enough....

Latest Neck Procedure Pics Thanks To Dr. Holubec and all the great nurses and assistants there who make this so easy to go through...

Weight: 226.4

Well This one will be written and updated shortly(perhaps by this Sunday), but suffice it to say, I have a lot to work on. My game is feeling more intuitive as I have been studying a bit more philosophically and existentially the usage and application of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as it is intended to be. Also, through a multitude of issues in personal life which directly affect my progression through the gentle art, I have seen that I am simply not worthy enough as a teacher, competitor, and perhaps even as a person as of yet to have the respect I have worked very hard to command. That said, some things will change...
Health-wise, eating better and more stretching, yoga, etc will have to happen...after Procedures on my lower back, cervical spine, and removal of a cyst on my hand I need to make certain that I can meet my goals I have set from now until I turn the big four oh...I have a cyst/fatty tumor deep in the belly of my biceps muscle and under my triceps that may have to be worked on as well as an issue where I may have to have another low back procedure on top of my recurrent headaches again so I need to de-stress and get intelligent training in...
As for my style, I have worked hard to implement pressure in every facet of my game. When I was a brown belt and working intently on some direct goals, my aim was to pressure my opponent, improving my position, until they broke both mentally, emotionally, and in their game physically. I got away from that in trying to open up to some things but, it's allowed me to play something that was not me, and is not(IMO) how it should be. Back to the smash. Shutting down, incrementally, parts of the opponents' game even when they feel it to be open, is something necessary for me to get back to...Simplicity and aggression...NOT reaction, as reaction should be felt and done as a tool to cause a reaction from the opposition...anyways...
I have to work on not ever losing position, and to impose my will to the point in crushes the will of the opponent...I have allowed myself to not do things in a correct manner b/c to do so correctly would feel itself to be rude or mean to someone without this understanding. No more limitations...I will up my level of training and make sure I seek to sharpen my iron with iron as well as drilling to the level I must, even if I have to pay someone to do so to improve...I would like to have my BJJ be pure...that will take lots of fire to burn away the chaff colected in my being content with just doing enough to get by...
That said, as a teacher, it seems I am lacking in providing detail and results to the point that students can feel the value of what I give. I will work to gain a better respect from them in the way I present their steps to their goals and hope they feel finally that what I can bring to them is valuable.
Had the occasion to promote my first blue belt about a week ago...I felt even more happy than when I got my own. Will have pictures etc of the occasion soon as well...
I am also going to make due where I stand with the sponsors I have...I will work to ensure that going forward from my performance in upcoming tournaments that I can afford to make it to(even though well down from those I could afford to do to date), to my webinar/dvd series with www.bjjedge.com , to my performance in hopefully more invitational and superfight matches(I got invited to the Pro division at GrapplersQuest This upcoming weekend but cannot make it), I will prove myself both worthy of support that others get, but also that I am fine with what I can do and will do my best to excel at whatever that may be....I fight on...


Thought For The Day: Only an opponent can test your understanding. Reality will strip away your erroneous ideas. There is NO substitue for victory.