Blessed To Be On Graciemag.Com Again...Listen to me on BJJEDGE.COM TOO!...

Weight: 217.8

Started treatment Friday...Working through my nausea and fatigue but in spite of it all I feel pretty good. Things are still OK! Had to work to day and was hard to focus...b/c on top of the live interview I was blessed with on Http://www.bjjedge.com last night (Go and become a member as there will be a LOT of great things happening there!!!) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW I also saw where I have an article that was on the FRONT page of http://www.graciemag.com (thanks and nice meeting you to the reporter Gabriel) ... Here is the link: http://www.graciemag.com/news/144/ARTICLE/15178/2009-08-03.html I am very honored and humbled by this...
I meant to say if you guys didn't know, I have been sponsored by GOMGI(www.gomgi.com) for some time now and believe they have the best GIs anywhere...But I picked up a few new sponsors...One of them is Athletic Body Care (www.athleticbodycare.com). I had been a fan of their defense lotion for a while and I am happy to be a representative of their products and I must say the soaps and especially the bath salts are GREAT...Check them out...I am also sponsored by Kelly's Lawn Service and by the great guys over at http://www.jiujitsuforums.com Make certain to go become a member and see the great things going on over there...
Will talk more later but have to run for now...I fight on...

Thought For The Day: "Do or do not. There is no try!"

Black Belt Masters & Seniors World Champion!

Weight: 209.8

International Masters & Seniors World Championships
Preta Senior 1 Masculino
Super Pesado
Primeiro STEPHEN HALL Alliance
Segundo PAULO RODRIGUES CURI Peposo Team
Terceiro NICOLAU MÁRIO Reação
Terceiro LUCIANO GOULART Ataque Duplo


Rio International Open
Preta Adulto Masculino
Super Pesado
Primeiro ANTONIO BRAGA NETO Gordo JJ
Segundo RODRIGO CAVACA Check Mat Bjj
Terceiro THIAGO GAIA Nova União
Terceiro STEPHEN HALL Alliance

100 Picture Slide Show

MY FIRST MATCH AS A BLACK BELT
Pesadelo X Rogerio Oliveira

Preta - Sr. 1 - Super Pesado
Semi- Final And Final

Thought for The Day: This should be one of the happiest times of my life, but it isn't.

PRETA!...Updated

Weight: 218.4

Update...
I honestly have thought of this day, dreamed of this day, and fantasized about what it would be, how it would feel, and what it meant...I honestly still don't know what or how to feel! I am numb. The biggest thing, is that I always held and still hold the wearers of the Faixa Preta in such high esteem as to have them be akin to super heroes in my eyes. As much as I have been confident in my abilities, and confident in my skills, I just never felt I could live up to being seen in that light. Jiu-Jitsu has kept me alive. It has given me incentive to do things that are conducive to living well, healthy, and with good peace of mind. Anyways, Coach Allen and Coach Marcus felt I was worthy and I even had Professor Jacare' tell me that my belt was well deserved, so who am I not to feel that I am?
A good and bad thing about milestones in life, is that they present an opportunity to see what people really feel about you. People harbor opinions of you within themselves which become their reality. No matter what you do, say, or how you act, they feel that this is the truth and how it really is, no matter what is evident in the contrary in reality. It is really hurtful to find this out from people you care about. Especially painful is to find out they already were doing things behind your back because of their incorrect ASSumptions and opinions. It's even hurtful when you work really hard to do or be something and find out even total strangers have negative opinions of you. All that said, I guess it is a good thing, because it allows you to rid yourself of those who care not enough to get inside of you to see what is really there. Take the time for someone you claim to care about, to listen and understand what they need or want even if it is not how you think it should be done. This is something Jiu-Jitsu has taught me that every situation can be approached and handled differently...You can see and assume something is a certain way, but until u approach it on it's own terms and merits (NOT under what you ASSUME it to be.) you will most certainly always make the wrong decision about it.
Jiu-Jitsu has been a guide in changing my life, in helping me to be a better person, in allowing me to express myself to the world. I'd always believed that between this and my attempting to be a good father to my daughter, I could be at least a decent person. Well, my daughter is gone to be living with her mother now, and I truly feel as lost as I was as a white belt. I can not concentrate, I can not focus, and I can not deal with the things good or bad as they should be dealt with. I hope that I can find focus again. As in jiu-jitsu when things go wrong, even a tad bit, they go horribly wrong in a downhill spiral, but there is always a chance, if you keep fighting, that you could snatch victory from the precipice of defeat at the last minute when you feel you can take no more. I hope that comes back to me.
I have a few more goals to add to my list now.....One of which, is to compete two more years (I would be 40 in 2011)at the Mundials. Another is to go down to Masters&Seniors in July and to win my division...The others I will post later but to live up to the trust has been placed in me...I fight on...


Thought For The Day: "One day, I will wake up and no longer be able to do this: Today is NOT that day!" - author unknown

Thought For The Day2: "Cultivate the poise of a dead man. The samurai should be incapable of being emotionally aroused, particularly by lust, greed, pride, jealousy or anger."

Thought For The Day 3: "If you are not with me, you are against me."

3rd and 38.....Updated

Weight: 218.4

Life's a bitch sometimes...In the midst of it being at it's most highest point of bitchtivity(yes it's a word cuz I say so), it can really give you the boost you need to keep going!...Oh, and while I think about putting the weekend down into the blog, I'd like to go on record as stating that dog farts are the most horrid thing on earth!!! EWwww...Beneful gives my dog gas, but as she is back to herself, I am happy she is eating...
On to the Jiu-Jitsu....I got Third Place at This Weekend's World Brazilian Jiu-jitsu Championships...Brown Belt, Super Heavyweight Division...and the Alliance team won the team championship by a WIDE margin...

Day One:
Got up about 4am...got to the airport and hit the plane for a smooth flight about 6:10am....Couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted as my knee bothered me badly..haven't said much before the tournament b/c I did not want it out to opponents, but I couldn't bear much weight on my left knee when flexed and it hurt constantly...Gonna have to hit the ortho doc to have it checked...Got in to have the rental company charge a $500 deposit before checking to see that my rental was prepaid which should have been a $50 deposit(They reversed it but even so, it had to wait until it hit my bank to drop off...This would not happen until Monday night as they don't process over the weekend....This, on top of the fact that deductibles from my hospital and from my car being wrecked were taken out a week earlier then they should have which left me with pretty much NO money for the weekend...Anyways...I had snacks etc and needed to work off some weight as I was a few pounds over anyway...got to the hotel and unwound a bit...Then went off to the pyramid at Cal St LB...got there too late to see Sampson's matches so I went up to the stands to join the team...It always feels great to be received as family when I see these guys...they always treat me well and it was great to see all the folks I hadn't in some time...Anyways saw a LOT of great matches including some from some names you will hear for some time to come, David Bass, Johnathan Thomas, and Michel Langhi...The latter two closed out their division with Michel getting his new brown belt on the podium! I also got to see and talk with some friends from http://www.jiujitsuforums.com and got to talk with a lot of folks who read the blog...this was started so I could keep track of what I did, how I felt, and what was memorable through my travels in the art, and several times the notion has struck me to make it private, but to hear so many say this inspires them and that they enjoy reading my boring ranting made me feel great...Meeting these people and being in that atmosphere really made me know that I have found what I was meant to do in life! Thank you all who care enough to take the time to read here!...I spent the day running back and forth to the locker room and the scale trying to make certain I was making weight...Left that night with a headache and about a half pound cushion...Got back to the hotel feeling a tad bit exhausted and weird...Decided to try to do some cardio to sweat off a pound or two to allow me to be able to eat some as I had put some of the little $ I had left aside to do so...Changed into some shorts and went down stairs...b the time I walked across the lobby and into the fitness center, I was having horrible chills and shaking uncontrollably...It was hard to keep from looking like I was on crack as I shook so bad my walking was crooked as I tried to hurry tot he elevator...Then I tried to contain myself so the folks who were staring in the elevator didn't think I had swine flu and call the CDC on me...I get back into my room and jump into a hot shower...The shaking stopped, until I got out when it returned worse...I almost crumpled to the floor, but I got on my shorts and t-shirt and put on the hotel robe and got extra blankets from the closet and got in bed...Took me about an hour to stop shaking and another hour to get to bed as all I could think of was getting choked out early...Only good thing was....

Day Two:
I woke up about 4 lbs under weight...So I wasn't shaking when I awoke but I was exhausted and a tad bit sore..someone said it might have been from not eating and trying to cut weight...If so, I am going to work on getting my weight up to about 240 now so I don't have to worry about cutting, and I can handle those huge guys at Pessadissimo...Anyways I get to the gym early and make certain I am prepared mentally and as time nears for my match I notice the high level of talent this year...Also notice how much better in shape everyone seems to be than I am as well as how much younger everyone looks! My confidence is really gone about now...I felt that I only wanted to get on the mat, and not look stupid and I would be ok...Well I take my first match by walk over as my opponent does not make weight...My next two matches go arm-bar, then combination arm-bar/triangle...Both in less than one minute...I am through to the semi-finals...Suffice it to say, that in this match, I had pts that were not called for me, pts called against that should not have been, a horribly incorrect re-start position, and a missed submission attempt I should have finished so I was not happy with the calls and feel like that match was taken for me...That said, my opponent ended up winning the title and is a great guy...the ref.........that's all I have to say about thaaat....Besides tearing off half a fingernail and bending up 3 others and hurting my neck a tad bit, I was really ok with my performance and for an old guy of 38, I did put in a decent showing against the young ones at the Mundials...At least I think so...That evening after I cooled off about the reffing, I caught some great black belt matches! I also got a new sponsor http://www.bjjedge.com that will help me to cover reg costs and allow me to do a few things such as write and show some techniques as well...Thanks Pesh!...Will tell you guys more about this in my next post, as I'd like to cover everything that will happen with it first...That said, ANYONE who practices the gentle art, and perhaps in some other areas would be wise to get in on this soon...So I walked out a little dejected but feeling good as I had a few more folks tell me they recognized me from the blog and that they liked and followed it!...So after saying my goodbyes...I got in the car...and knew after that night was ending and I was driving to my hotel late that night, that our brown belt teams put Alliance in place to cruise to victory as a team!

Day Three:
All I can say is the atmosphere was electric..I got there about 10am...And watched as our black belts put in a clinic...Between having the entire team together and chanting back and forth between us and Gracie Barra/Gracie Humaita/etc the hours flew by...I got to see more good friends, including Big Rick who trains up in Washington and is only six weeks removed from brain tumor removal and therapy who competed this weekend! Needless to say, Again, I was inspired...Watching Jacare' come back after his illness, watching folks overcome their shortcomings and hardships and being int he company of people who had so much good will with one another even int he midst of harsh competition makes me happy I found Jiu-Jitsu...It was wonderful...As we took the team trophy that night it was just the perfect end to a great weekend...Even got a picture with Roger Gracie...He seems so huge on the mats but after standing near him, I am about the same size and actually weigh more than him now...Hope to one day be able to at least match his strength and even half his technique though...I will work on it...I talked at the end of the night to Caleb from http://wwwthefightworkspodcast.com and we shared how he is doing after his injury and about coming back to train as well as had him tell me more about folks who enjoy my blog which lifted my spirits as well...even though I was broke, hungry, hurting, and really down about my real life before I came, and dreaded returning to it as things are only worsening...I knew I made the right decision to do so, and am really glad God decided to bless someone so unworthy with such abundance...If I did not have my daughter and Jiu-Jitsu, I would die, as it seems everything else crumbles...So...the old man continues....I fight on...

Thought For The Day:

Who steals my purse steals trash; tis something, nothing;
twas mine, tis his, and has been slave to thousands
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.
-Iago

I Know that It's Comin'...I Just Hope That I'm Alive For It...

www.peshphoto.com

www.peshphoto.com

Weight: 218.2

First Of All - R.I.P. Uncle Percy
There is a concept I have read of called Aliveness (Click Here To Read About It) in BJJ that I have played around with. I took a lot from this article and really sat and thought a lot about how I could expand upon this for myself...The concept says that Aliveness is timing, energy, and motion. For something to truly be alive, it must possess all these three elements. I have been playing around with this idea and added my own philosophy to it lately. In addition to those three things, I think that to be in the Aliveness state in BJJ requires a true state of openness...Meaning to be in the moment at all times...If you are truly IN the moment, and possess all of the other attributes, then you will always be ahead of your opponent...The philosophy of the technique/position you are trying to implement must also be understood...Not merely the mechanics of the technique or position, but the actual objective and aim of it which also gives you ability to tie it in to other techniques/positions without thought...

All that said, I have been attempting to use this in my own practices instead of merely drilling/rolling etc...It has paid off great dividends as between the great instruction I hvae been receiving, and the work I DO put in to drilling/rolling, the understanding and ability to be alive within the moment has really been evolving...The last few practice sessions I have had have really been great...I actually allowed myself to triangle someone yesterday... I have purposely pushed myself away from the technique in the recent months...At first it felt like I was really ineffective...That said, with my recent success from the top game in Rio, and with the lessons learned from Coach Marcus and Coach Allen, it was the best thing I could ever do...My passing has become very heavy and crisp, and I still have a LOT I can improve upon...That gives me hope that I can actually one day be close to the level I would like to attain...I still have much work to do to get to the proper body positioning for the half guard/x-guard passes...Especially working to get my knee down properly to prevent the x-guard pass has been problematic, but because of the great understanding I have received from my privates with Coach Marcus on that position, I at least understand the objective, and have been able to adapt and adjust on the fly, even when I don't get to the "perfect" position....Also, with the same info on a couple of my favorite side control submissions (Especially the Paper-Cutter Choke) I got from Coach Allen, I can adjust to ensure success with the position even when I don't quite get there from the beginning...

I had gotten some confidence that I would be able to at least win a match or two at Mundials from my performance at the Brazilian Nationals...Also, the practices I have been having have been crisp, while my cardio has been holding up well...This helps me to feel like I can at least be competitive enough not to look silly out there...In short, I felt like my being(and feeling) as old as I am could be over come, at least for a weekend at the World Championships...Also, had Coach Allen ask me the other day after watching me practice, what brand/type Black Belt I wanted, as he wanted me to have the kind I liked...That all depends upon me winning my division, which I am really not too sure I will come anywhere near doing...Well, it's the last few days until the registration deadline (Tuesday, 26 May 2009), and now the plane tickets have jumped from $229 to $449...Would still have to get a hotel room, and a rental car as well...Due to a lot going on in my life...I won't be able to afford to go...Maybe it is for the best, as I don't feel, even with how good I have been doing, that I am near warranting the promotion...I will have to work hard to get a sponsor or two to be able to get to some of these tournaments as things aren't so good as they used to be,where I could handle these type things myself...So if anyone knows any companies/individuals who would be a candidate to be a sponsor, please let me know...

Some great news...Coach Allen has made it possible for me and my school to become an official member of the Alliance organization...This will allow for a lot of benefits to the school...This is a really good thing to happen! I look forward to being a very productive member, and living up to the trust instilled in me.
Also...congratulations to my good friend Tyler Bosard....He received his Black Belt today from Draculino and Leo Cantu...He has been a great friend and also is my equipment sponsor (www.gomgi.com - best GIs and grappling gear in the world!!!) ...Tyler runs Gracie Barra - RGV...If you are ever down in that area...Make sure to pay his school a visit!...He is a very technical and knowledgeable BJJ artist! Congrats Tyler!!!

It seems in BJJ there is a LOT of loss to deal with...It is something that both builds character, and teaches how to overcome adversity within the art itself...Been dealing with a lot of loss of confidence as I really just know enough to be dangerous now...Knowing the things I do, I can see how far I am from being what people think I am on the mat...I really hope to be able to live up to these thoughts of me in the near future and will be on the mat as much as I can, to be able to move forward...It's just humbling to know how much you really don't know...To look at yourself and not see the person everyone else does...That said, BJJ for me is a microcosm of life...Loss sucks ass, but I am trying my best to take it, and hope to make something positive from it if that is at all possible...I never thought that I would still be alive now, much less being able to do anything productive...So...I fight on...


Thought For the Day: "Death is not the greatest loss in life...The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

I Hide My Tears, From The Crowd......By Smiling....

Weight: 218.8

MAN, I needed this today...Simple Illustration...





I have lots to work on in Jiu-Jitsu and in life. Seems as if nothing is satisfactory to me or those around me. It's really hard to have to sit and think through every move in relation to what it might or might not cause to happen or the reaction it may bring. Jiu-Jitsu has taught me that, and I need to apply it better. Thing is, in the gentle art, I have found that the way to best results generally, is to focus on what you are doing, and make your action work to the desired end. I have much more to learn it seems. I fight on...


for now.

Thought For The Day: "He who is not with me, is against me." - Matthew 12:30

Brasileiros Day Three: Great Day...(UPDATED)

Weight: 219.8

Firstly, I have a lot more confidence that I can at least win a match or two at Mundials and not look stupid now...Also have more confidence in my conditioning work, (even though when surfing I tired out after about 20 minutes of fighting waves! lol) as I felt great throughout the day...that said, life is kicking that ass again and no matter what I feel my performance could be, just is no way I can afford to make it to Mundials with all that's happening and happened to date...Really sucks as it turned from me just wanting to go to have a decent test, to me having confidence I could do OK, and when it turned to that, I have things just go south! Ehh..that's life. On to the blogging...

Well the day started off great as far as the tournament went. I got to see some GREAT Black belt matches and it felt good that Alliance was WAY out in front after the Brown belt results the day before!!! Seeing Terere's return was the highlight of the day...His band and rowdy group of fans livened up the entire venue! Between Professor Paiva and Gurgel, in addition to the work put in by Coaches Marcus and Allen, my level of proficiency has gone up a lot more than I thought it would. After seeing the Black belts though, it is really daunting to think that I would be anywhere close to being near competitive technically on the next level without years of work. As old as I am now, by that time, I will be 50 and unable to move! lol...Anyways, I got to get out to the beach, do a little running and sightseeing, as well as caught up with the surf professor Gidget for some surfing (Well, more like for some standing up and wiping the hell out! lol) ... Then it was off to the airport...Sucks that was the only nice weather day while I was there and that I couldn't stay an extra day...Anyways, everything was good until I got to the airport...

Once I got there, I get a call and find out that my dog is really sick...And talking to the veterinarian, she was in shock and close to passing away...that said, do not EVER, EVER take your pet to I-20 Animal Medical Center-Dr. Diane G. (not sure the last name) as they really just want to get you for your $ and don't care about the actual pet...I was told by this goatmouf trick to choose between paying $1300(the first # was $2200!!) and putting my dog to sleep! I tell her I have about $400 and can pay the rest Thursday upon getting paid, bear in mind I am in an airport in BRAZIL on a SUNDAY! she tells me "just put the dog to sleep then." Upon being given this "Choice", I asked what was wrong with her...The chick tells me she doesn't know, so I ask, what does me paying you $1300 do if you have no idea what you are treating her for? Long story short (there's a LOT more, but I digress as this is for something else), I decide not to put the baby to sleep, and get her the next day to the nice doctors at the Banfield in Pet Smart near my home...Brought her in(she couldn't even lift her head, sit up, nothing) and within a few hours she was sitting up and today she is doing great! All this for a little more than half what those other folks were to charge me without even finding out what was wrong! she should be able to go home today, so if you would, send a prayer up for her...

Once I get back home from these trips, it's like getting back to work on the chain gang...Even though I never really get to go out or do the "normal" vacation things that people do when out of town as I am focused so much on performing well before a tournament, then resting and recovering after, it is still great because it allows me a release....Allows me an escape...I go to a place where the only thing that exists is my passion for the gentle art, where I can just be me and have peace of mind...But at home, life intrudes once again...Case in point, the truck issue is back, and not only do I have to have it fixed, but in a week or so, I have to come up with a down payment and buy something new! With all that has gone on, there is no way to do that...Problem is, with my school, if I have no way to get around, I don't know what will happen...will pray on it...

Speaking of which, I am very happy with my students' progress. The few I do have, work extremely hard and they believe in what I am giving them. That will go a long way as thy all have talent and promise.

As for my jiu-jitsu, I need to work more on the sweep prevention and half guard passing, and there is a particular pass which is pretty much the only one I get passed with, the few times I do get passed. This reared it's head again in training in Leblon, and needs to be fixed...good thing is, it is one of, if not the favorite passes Marcus does..That should help me get it cleared up in no time, plus Fabio said he would work on it with me if I got to the camp before Mundials...though I do not see that happening now...My left knee is jacked up and hurts badly when bending and flexing and I still need to get in to the doctor to get ANOTHER procedure on my back...It only locked up once while in Brazil, but still, it is a problem that needs fixing...ASAP...No matter... Still...I Fight On...


Thought For The Day: "In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, My head is bloody, but unbow'd."